Get rid of the victim mentality
Have you encountered people who get discouraged easily and constantly complain they are stuck in a similar situation? Somehow, they always seem to encounter the worst in a relationship or a job. Usually, we indulged them when they throw themselves a mini pity party and invite us to come along for the ride. But, you keep hearing them repeat the same scenario everywhere they go, and you know they are the only common factor in the equation. I am talking about people with a victim mentality. They are negative and complain about everything. They feel they do not deserve to have anything good happen to them as they lead hopeless lives. If these are our friends, we try to offer them a listening ear. But they act like you do not understand and will continue talking about their miserable life. There is no way you can please them.
Often, people with a victim mentality prefer to be stuck in that vicious cycle because of the attention they get when people offer them sympathy. Unfortunately, we end up getting trapped in the negativity while attempting to save them. It is perfectly fine to offer them empathy without getting trapped in their negative cycle. When you feel it is too much, don't feel guilty about removing them from our lives. There are many signs to show if someone has a victim mentality, but the most common one is when you feel the everyone is against you. The only way you can break out from a victim mentality is by first acknowledging to yourself that you have a problem. I believe this is where people face their greatest hurdle.
If you don't recognize you have a problem, you won't see the need to get a solution to your problem. Once that is out of the way, you can start changing your inner narrative. Instead of feeling like a victim, think of yourself as a survivor. Think back about the times when you started having feelings of self-pity and how it took shape in your life. At times, the triggers can be traced back to an incident that happened in your childhood. It could also be something learned from observing our parents or family. Start journaling these incidents to give you the power to change the narrative in your life.
You need to know that you are not your feeling. That is the reason why we experience joy one minute and sadness the next. You can change this by adopting a feeling of gratitude. Instead of being grounded in a feeling of "lack" think of the "abundance" you have. Don't lament that your job requires you to work long hours, but be grateful that you have a job. Don't complain that you are stuck with housework on weekends, be grateful that you have a house. It is about how we choose to see things. You will see yourself being more thankful and be happy when you start being grateful for the things around you. Develop a habit of asking yourself "what am I grateful for today?" As you do that, you begin to enjoy your life and be content with what you have in the present. Stop playing the victim and take control of your life. You are capable of great things if you believe in yourself. Are you ready to start afresh?
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